annanymity's Journal
[Most Recent Entries]
[Calendar View]
[Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
annanymity's LiveJournal:
[ << Previous 20 ]
| Monday, September 15th, 2008 | | 9:11 pm |
| | Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 | | 12:22 pm |
I'm a bit too engulf in speculations and fantasies of the future to form coherent thoughts. Not now, but just lately. Can it really be that wrong to get such a fulfilling high off of leaving circumstances up to chance? As of Sunday, I’ll be back to it and home free. Shady’s duck addiction finally got her kicked out of the apartment and the first night we spent on the pipeline gave me something that had been at my finger tips this whole time, but for some reason it still takes the influence of others to get me to take that first step. I won’t function like that forever. An incredible light display that evening. I felt a warmth I hadn’t felt in a while that made me sleep like a baby. Something about sitting a breaths’ length away from my commpadres, circled together around the open face of the tent enthralled with aw over each flash made me feel a very extremely giddy. Then again maybe it maybe it was the tree top canopy above me or, even more reasonable, the space bag that was frequently suspended over my face. Either way I got 11 hours of sleep that night. I guess much needed, I’ve been waking up around 8 or 9 in the apartment even on the latest, most drunk evenings. It kind of bothers me that Matt and I didn’t finish the log dock over our swimming hole, but I’m well ready to leave Austin with it unfinished. It’ll be something to get back to if I decide to go back to school. Damn that decision’s going to be hounding me hard. I hope I can escape it eventually and at least temporarily hold complete peace of mind. My parents are so cool for bearing with me, I know I really put a strain on my mother’s blood pressure….I guess I really need to find the proper balance in pleasing them and doing what I feel is right to myself….difficult to determine that middle ground…. Here comes the bad, the only negativity that’s been eating at me, my only complaint of my current life position: My brother just moved to the Air Force Base in Abilene, which is three hours from Austin. He didn’t come see me. Being that I haven’t seen him since December I was telling my mother I wanted to see him. She tells me he can’t be associated with my type very much due to his new military rank. And my type, straight out of my mother’s mouth: a terrorist…..?!?!?!?!......I won’t get into that conversation that followed that accusation. Let’s just say after the tense part was over it ended with me in baffled chuckles, because there was just no way my brother could feel that way. Well, next conversation with my big bro I bring up the convictions of my mother and her predictions of our future relationship. Taking the “can you believe approach” I was immediately shot down. My brother confirms that during briefings Rainbow was a definite topic, and any individual in attendance at there gatherings is a terrorist. Here’s that part where I explain the hypocrisy I see in gatherings, how I don’t see many more in my future, how they’re changing nothing except trampling the best parts of the country we have left, ect. But still, becaue I have attended he, by his job’s regulations, should have limited association with me. Here’s the best part and the closing of our conversation: He informs me that ANY person, ANY AT ALL that believe 9/11 was an inside job, is a terrorist and he can not, BY HIS JOBS regulations, cannot associate with these persons…. So, from now on my brother and I’s interactions will be limited to family functions and gatherings. I just never saw him giving in that hardcore. I love him, and spending time with him. I don’t know how to take this and all I can really do is tear up over it. Ah, fuck him if he wants to live like that. Friendship and family should go hand in hand and he definitely is now lacking on the friendship side now. I have better family members outside of my bloodline. But anyway, I can’t get myself too engulfed in thinking about it, not worth the emotional stain, it won’t change anything. Time for cleaning, and moving and closing the chapter that has been Austin. This city’s been good to me. Equal share of ups and downs. Perfect measurements, the doses of down have been just as heavy as the ups have been high and I couldn’t ask for more. Nothing of the future is really definite but the tentative calls for school buses, freight trains, and the north west. | | Friday, April 11th, 2008 | | 8:40 am |
shedding
Time for drunken nights of thought throwing to vacate...time for drunken nights of action now...I have a plan. And the for will be with me (to come out of this with no criminal record) ...but I will need comrads | | Monday, March 31st, 2008 | | 12:49 am |
recently...
I realized I AM alive. I never did the things i admired because everyone did them better...but I never tried... I have t be shitty at things before I develop skills at them...I'm excited for the future. but where is my future...I can't wait for may. Soon food, shelter, time, will be of no concern to me...a brand new mecca journey once again, cleansing of spirit and desire...but I'll be able to go back into classes when I'm ready?!?!....dear god, I'm the most spoiled person in existence...how better could I possibly have it?...sometime next fall I'll be settled and working so I can pay somewhat to my blessed benefits...my dream goal is wildlife photography...how did I not realize that before? I FINALLY HAVE BALLS, MUHAHAHA I wasn't ready for the world, now I think the world isn't ready for me can't guard your walls from this color | | Thursday, March 6th, 2008 | | 11:32 am |
why do I get this wacky feeling...
that there's a lot of people preaching the same message, having the same feelings, and not uniting? hmm, maybe I should stand up and do something...muhahahaha | | Tuesday, March 4th, 2008 | | 7:55 pm |
Honestly, with the so many centuries of misinterpretation, I think the word of Bill hicks needs to be spread alot more then the word of "God" (the Bible). | | Thursday, February 28th, 2008 | | 1:25 pm |
| | Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008 | | 12:49 pm |
wait, nevermind...
I forget how hard it is to be feral in america...it's too widely fought (this not just being for dogs and cats; people not excluded). I bailed her out of dog jail today, cold, wet, and unhappy. This did not stop her from being at the end of the leash trying to drag me towards the pond when we got back to the apartment complex. But who wouldn't want to do their favorite thing once free from jail? I hope I never have to walk through doggy jail again. Twice in a few days is far too haunting. I will have lots of land and many rescued dogs one day though. | | Monday, January 21st, 2008 | | 9:20 pm |
I lost my dog...
I feel like watching old yeller and crying. She wanted to swim and chase ducks so bad and was so incredibly miserable inside...how was I suppose to be responsible for this imprisonment? I just hope she's happier. It's selfish of me to wish she had never left...maybe I'm just jealous she's living free without me. | | Thursday, December 27th, 2007 | | 6:07 am |
| | Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 | | 7:59 pm |
brief update
Will be in Dayton Ohio for a week to go to doctors appointments, both clint and I have to. We may be staying longer because the kids we're staying with are talking to us about building a raft to raft the mississippi to Kansas City instead of Hitch. I won't rely on that because I know how often we follow through with our great plans, even thogh I'd like to think we possibly will because I know kids who've done it before-except the whole river. And that way I know Troll will hitch to join and I miss the fuck out of that kid and his banjo. Either way I can't wait to leave Dayton and venture more even though I love the kids here, even though it's not terrible because we've been spending our time with good company seeing music, drinking, and attending vegan potlucks which have kept us well fed. I'll hopefully be getting more tattoos soon. We went to Kentucky yesterday to see Ghost Mice and they're shows are just as fun as ever! My dog finally grew all the hair back around her eye! And she's still badass as ever except she dosen't realize how strong her jaws are anymore. Hopefully I'll see Emily soon because she's hopping through Ohio and said she'll go ot of her crews way to hop to cincinatti and see me! (please!) yeh, so I guess now that I remember this password I'll be updating this. | | Monday, July 9th, 2007 | | 10:37 am |
eesh
so where's a good website for news? I don't necessarily want political news, because I hate being swayed by writers. Just stuff going on in the world...science and biology are always nice | | 10:02 am |
woah
I remembered my LJ password. Crazy. | | Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 | | 12:14 pm |
YEY! It's my birthday! I can still get porn and still get in to bars woo! | | Monday, August 21st, 2006 | | 9:48 am |
yey. I made cool friends :) | | Saturday, August 19th, 2006 | | 7:30 pm |
yet another lonely night of watching Star Wars and sneaking off to get stoned by myself....yey. | | Friday, August 18th, 2006 | | 8:33 am |
I know a life on the road is far too unstable to make a career out of but damn am I homesick for the west. I guess it's good my car's in Houton getting fixed so I don't just take off to New Mexico. :/ I'm not comfortable. Somebody please bring me some good company and lovin'. I've never been this lonely before. | | Thursday, August 17th, 2006 | | 11:46 pm |
David Heskin is my new favorite artist. | | Wednesday, August 16th, 2006 | | 5:15 pm |
oh my god my arents just made me shave my arm pits. :( | | Tuesday, August 15th, 2006 | | 9:48 pm |
|
[ << Previous 20 ]
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92){kind=small}
annanymity's journal